Match Making For Boomers: Decoding Online Dating Myths: Steps to ...

The Picture Is the Thing

Your picture is what will get you noticed, send a message about what you're like, and hopefully attract the right type of person to you. It's that last part, attracting the right type of person that is really worth considering.

As you will learn by experience, there are profile spammers; these are people who send winks, icebreakers, or e-mails to just about anyone who are on the service. They play the numbers game, much like the guy in a bar who thinks that if he hits on every woman, statistically he will score with one of them eventually. Just learn how to spot profile spammers. Discounting those types of contacts-people who don't care about how you look or who you are, just as long as you're breathing-how do you attract the right type of inquiry?

Attract His Attention The Right Way

Common sense when choosing or taking a picture of yourself will go a long way toward attracting the right person. For example, you may be a very sexual person. You may be pretty hot, with a great body and model looks. If you use a photo that shows that side of you, who will you get a response from? People who are going to judge you almost entirely on how you look? People who are just looking to get laid?

The way we think of ourselves, and the way we have come to posture ourselves in photographs may not be in harmony with our personalities or our experiences. You can be a very sexy person who takes a smokin' photo, but if you're looking for a serious relationship based on mutual interests, and sex is the last thing on your mind right now, that is the message you need to send.

The One-Second Evaluation

So, I have told you that your photo will most likely have about one second to catch the eyes of most people on the service you use. So take a good look at the pictures you're trying to choose from for your profile, and conduct your own one-second test.

Take your pictures (including those you don't even plan to use) and, if possible, have a friend with you. Next, take some little pieces of paper and write basic categories on the pieces such as happy, sad, funny, serious, romantic, or any other looks you think will attract the type of person you want to date.

Now put the pieces of paper on a table, take a handful of your photos, look at each one for a second, and then throw it into one of the piles. You can do this, or you can have your friend do this.
Once you're finished, whoever did the throwing sits back, and the other person looks at each pile and confirms the impression. You or your friend take the pictures from the happy pile, and make sure that the pictures are indeed happy pictures of you.

The most important part of this exercise is to sort the pictures quickly. You want to go with that "one-second judgment" that is so much a part of making a first impression. This will help you sort out pictures by the message they send rather than how much you like the particular photo.

The one-second exercise will help you not only with existing photographs, but also with the photos you'll take to use for your online profile. Start thinking of your pictures as messages you're sending to the person you're looking for. You can attract the right person if you send the right message.

Judge Yourself the Way You Judge Others

It's hard to be objective, or honestly critical, about yourself. We all have an image of ourselves we've honed over years of having good and bad pictures taken. That self-image may not be the best image for attracting someone. For example, your favorite pictures of yourself may be at the beach when you're looking fantastic in a bathing suit. Even though those photos may be the best pictures of you, a picture of you in a bathing suit may send the wrong message to potential daters.

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Source: http://matchmakingforbloomers.blogspot.com/2012/07/decoding-online-dating-myths-steps-to.html

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