Unless you have successfully mastered the art of time travel, it's safe to say at this point that your breakup actually happened. It may be hard to take, but facing reality and accepting the fact that it took place is the first step towards getting back your ex-boyfriend. It's probably the only thought on your mind, and it's understandable. Breakups are a difficult, heart wrenching process and it's normal to want them to go away.
The breakup isn't going to disappear on its own. Now is the opportune moment to make some careful and decisive actions to get back to the place you want to be. You want to get back your ex boyfriend, but conflicting advice is everywhere. How do you know which direction to go? How do you know if it will work? The best advice is simply to weigh out the possibilities and come up with a course of action that does not rely on impulsivity or hasty decisions. You need to know which methods work and which don't. More importantly, you need to realize that although your situation is unique, it's not uncommon. Finding the right solution can practically guarantee better results than just waiting for something to happen on its own.
First Steps Following Your Breakup
It's abundantly clear to you in the hours and days following your breakup that something needs to be done if you want a chance to get back your ex boyfriend. But what can you do? What are your options and which ones have a shot at working out in your favor? While you're trying to think rationally, your mind is moving at a million miles a minute and your imagination is probably running away with you. You're thinking of every possible thing that could be entertaining your ex while you're stuck at home watching Romance movies. One of the keys to your success is to control those runaway thoughts and start coming up with an immediate plan of action.
It can seem nearly impossible to separate your emotions from your actions but it must be done. As your brain continues to spin out of control, it becomes tempting to lunge in a direction - any direction - as long as it puts you near your ex again. It's a mistake that a lot of women in your position make. You need to think outside of the box now and make sure that anything you do is going to work in your favor and not put you in a worse position than you're already in.
Before you send that text or place that call to our ex-boyfriend, realize that timing is everything. Being patient can go a long way towards a successful reunion even though every instinct may tell you otherwise. If you try to throw yourself in his direction right now, he's going to shove back - and that will move the two of you even farther apart. You don't want to get up in his face right now. The best thing you can do is to give him some time to unwind. He needs to respond to your attempts positively and pushing him too soon will cause the opposite result.
Don't mistakenly think that this process has to drag on indefinitely - that's not necessarily true. If you're wondering if you can take positive steps forward without having to put everything else on hold, the answer is yes.
The first thing you need to do is reverse the way he saw you during the breakup. If you cried or argued or tried to force a change of mind, you gave him exactly what he wanted. He knows that you're not over him and he knows that you're not ready to face life without him. Right now he feels like he's on top of the world. He has the freedom and the time he wanted to try and see what else is out there - and he also has an ex-girlfriend who's dying to get him back. He feels confident and desirable and you're playing right into his ego. Before you take any other action, stop playing his game and giving him what he wants from you the most - security.
How to Make Him Interested All Over Again
When you first started dating your ex-boyfriend, he couldn't get enough of you. Everything was fresh and new and each day led to a new discovery. In order to regain that feeling two things need to happen. Before reconciliation is even going to enter his mind, he has to realize that he misses you. What you need to remember as a vital part of this process is that you don't miss people that you see every day - you miss people who are absent. That means that you have to go away.
Breakups are rarely, if ever, a mutual decision, but you can give your ex-boyfriend the impression that you're totally fine with his decision now - even after the fact. You can accomplish this easily be stopping any means of pursuing him. As much as he may say differently, your attempts to win him over were boosting his ego. Once you stop, he's going to start realizing that things have changed. You want him to start realizing that he may have blown his chance with you and as soon as that happens, he's going to start wanting the very thing he gave up all over again, getting him back after that is simple.
No matter what he's told you, he's been paying attention to you since he left. He's been avoiding you, yes, but that doesn't mean that he hasn't been interested. Once you stop pursuing him, he's going to be wondering where you went. That's when things are going to take a completely different direction - one that's going to play out in your favor.
Your ex-boyfriend probably wasn't as certain of his decision to leave the relationship as he led you to believe. Now all of his uncertainties are going to come crashing to the surface in a way that is impossible for him to ignore. Once those doubts start, he's going to need to do something. He's not going to be okay with the idea that he's losing you for good. He's going to have to do something to keep you around and he's going to have to do it quickly.
Realize His Feelings are Still Present
It's silly to think that your ex-boyfriend doesn't still feel a connection to you. Emotional bonds are established and strengthened over time and don't go away just because you broke up. Realizing that those feelings are there is another way to gain an advantage in your present situation.
While your ex may be aware of those feelings on a subconscious level, he may not yet be willing to explore them openly. That's why you can use them to your advantage without letting him know what you're up to. You can start to use the past as a tool here. You two shared a lot of good times together, and if you can bring those memories to light, he can start thinking about your relationship again in a new, renewed light.
Don't waste all of your hard work by throwing yourself at your ex full-force. You don't want to scare him off now that you're so close to getting him back in your life for good. Subtlety is an art form and getting as well-informed as possible gives you every advantage throughout this whole process without portraying you in a negative light.
Your Next Steps
You will need to avoid these break up mistakes at all costs, lots of women are guilty of doing these things without even knowing it and it will ruin their chances of getting their ex boyfriends back. Another key thing for you to explore now is the no contact rule and why it is so powerful when trying to get back your ex boyfriend. Pull it off and he will soon be the one that is chasing you instead.
Your ex boyfriend will probably be exhibiting some key signs he wants you back, be on the look out for those as it will allow you to see if you are heading in the right direction. Good luck!
Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/getting-back-your-boyfriend-how-its-done
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